We knew he wasn’t doing that well; the doctors were not very optimistic. I chose not to hear it. I thought they were small – but doing well – I know God was protecting me from the truth. Jeremy and I were finishing up eating and planning on heading to the hospital in a short while. The phone rang. It was the hospital. When we saw “Cook Children’s” on the caller id, our hearts automatically started to race. The on-call doctor told us Mason wasn’t doing well and asked if we were near-by. We told him we were planning on heading up there. He asked us how far away we were. I remember that question made me nervous – I remember thinking ‘are we in a time crunch or something?’ We quickly got dressed and headed up there. We had only been in the car for about 10 minutes when my cell phone rang. It was the doctor again. He asked how much longer – at this point I couldn’t help it – I asked “Is he dead?” I just didn’t understand the urgency. We already told him we were on the way – we didn’t have sirens on our car or anything! He said, “No. He is just very sick.”
Jeremy always dropped me off at the entrance and then drove to the parking garage. I would wait for him at the entrance and we would walk up together. (This particular time we knew I would go ahead and head up there and he would meet me at Mason’s bed.) I was about to get out of the car when my cell phone rang again – it was the Chaplin this time. He was asking us about baptizing and if he could pray over Mason. My mind started to race and I said we would talk to him upstairs.
When we got there, he looked like he did the other 2 days we saw him. (He was only 3 days old at this point.) The doctor was by his bed and I don’t remember everything he said – I do remember he said, “Maybe Mason is telling us something.” They gave us the option to fill out DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) forms for him. We decided no because if God wanted him, He would take him whether we signed forms or not.
I don’t know at which point Jeremy got the word out, but he did and I know the prayer warriors started praying for him.
They left the hood open on his bed and Jeremy and I just sat and stared at him. The machines would beep and the nurse (Samantha) would come over and turn them off. This happened quite a bit. Neither Jeremy nor I knew what to do or say. The Chaplin came over and prayed with us. At some point, I leaned in and whispered to him “You are ‘Genz tough’ … You are a fighter, I need you to fight.” My Aunt Lucille passed away in September – right before we found out we were pregnant with the boys – and she used to say I was ‘Genz tough’ when I would get hurt or if I was crying.
They were taking his blood gases every hour and when he was doing his worst, the doctor said his blood gases were “not sustainable for life”. This was sometime around 10 or 11 am maybe. By the time we left, which was around maybe 4 or 5ish – his blood gases were much improved. The day Mason was one week old (4 days later)– the nurse told me his blood gases were “perfect”.
I don’t do it all the time, but there are definitely times I look at him and know Jesus was holding him, I picture Him holding Mason. He is not only a miracle, but also a true testament to the power of prayer. We couldn’t hold him, he was too fragile. When he was on the verge of death and the doctors were saying maybe Mason is telling us something – God was telling us something different.
I didn’t post pictures of the boys when they were first born because I didn’t think people needed to see my boys struggling. I wanted them to see my boys doing wonderful. You have seen lots of pictures of the boys doing wonderfully – now look back and see what you prayed for. This is your answered prayer. This is what my wonderful prayer warriors did for my family.
I will post Hagen’s struggles during another nap session ;-)
